I am an angry Black woman. It is not all that I am but for now this is the part of me I want to address. I do so because I refuse to become the thing I hate. That is I refuse to become bitter, closed minded and mean. I have heard from three people who matter to me that it is important to make space for those with a different way of being or have conflicting views.
Now I have always been proud of my ability to do that. But their ideas have caused me to reflect. Am I open to views that run counter to my own? Am I blaming people for my frailties and shortcomings? Am I open to other’s point of view? Or do I dismiss them? Am I harming people? Am I too quick to judge those I identify as members of a group that have the systemic power to cause suffering to others?
I need to be clear. My friends did not call me angry. They did not accuse me of discounting others. But each of them in their own way talked about the need to hear others, even those who have mistreated us. And it is what led me to step back and reflect on my behavior.
I am angry about the systemic forces that have caused suffering to so many marginalized people while the dominant group prospers at their expense. I know about innocent people being killed by police officers. I have witnessed people experiencing illnesses that were easily treatable, but they could not access adequate health care. They either could not afford it or they were the wrong color or gender.
And most of all I am angry at members of the dominant culture who choose to ignore such suffering. Those who refuse to address obvious injustice and cruelty. Those who have the power to interrupt it; those who live in the immaturity of ignorance and/or denial. Yes, about that I am very angry. I question those who call themselves moral upstanding human beings but do not have the moral integrity to address what is happening all around them… the obvious suffering and injustice of human beings who do not look like them. I am definitely angry about that.
I grew up in the Jim Crow South. Racism, bigotry and ignorance was the surround sound of my existence. I have witnessed extraordinary acts of cruelty and injustice. And I devoted my life to addressing those atrocities as a veteran of the Civil Rights Movement. We were taught to be non-violent…to work toward a Beloved Community…to view others as neighbors rather than strangers. We attached ourselves to those lofty goals because we were hurt and angry.
Anger has an important function. It lets us know when our boundaries as human beings have been invaded, and we are in danger. Now we can misinterpret danger and act to defend ourselves when there is no threat. The question I am considering…does my long history of witnessing systemic cruelty leveled against me and other innocent human beings hamper my ability to discern real danger and injustice in the present moment. Could it be that I am misinterpreting the motives of the dominant group, those who do not look like me?
Now this is difficult for me. Discernment would be easier, I suspect, if the cruelty and injustice I have witnessed for most of my life no longer existed. That the cruelty and injustice I grew up with was in the past. But sadly, it is not. Now one may say Lutricia it is naive to believe that all cruelty or injustice will disappear. And I accept that. But I reserve the right to respond with righteous indignation whenever it darkens my door.
Anger has another function. It signals that we choose not to be a victim and will defend ourselves if necessary. Oppression is defined as prolonged cruel or unjust treatment or control. Under white supremacy cruel and unjust treatment was deployed to intimidate Black people into submission, to participate in their own victimization. I made a promise to myself. I will not go out like that,
I think Black women get a bad rap when we are stereotyped as “angry” Black women. The implication is that Black women are somehow dangerous and out of control. Black women are not walking into schools and killing children. Black women are not sexually assaulting people. Black women are not walking into synagogues and churches and nightclubs blowing people away with automatic weapons. Black women are not creating roving gangs with tiki torches. Black women did not decimate our capital and lead an insurrection against the government. Black women are not torching churches or lynching innocent white people. I have never participated in any act of violence toward anyone. Just the opposite we Black women have been the conciliators and mediators…the ones most likely to forgive. I am at my core a community builder. I am willing to listen and extend respect to anyone who stands in front of me. So far, the murderers, racists, misogynists, homophobes and power mongers have not accepted the invitation.
It is a fine skill that I am attempting here…the ability to be angry and empathetic, compassionate and a truth teller. But it is who I strive to be. I am someone who believes in the inherent worth and dignity of all people, and I am someone who is willing to speak truth to power with the strongest voice I can muster. If that disturbs folks, then so be it.
I still carry the scar tissue from the trauma of those difficult times that I grew up with. I hope those who know me… know my heart…the people I care about… who care about me will offer me the gift of grace. As we use to say in the movement. “God ain’t finished with me yet”.